Sunday, July 16, 2006
［ 不準哭－同恩 ］
我把自己反锁在空荡荡的房屋
感谢你让我想个清楚
因为爱你所以我不做你的包袱
我不需要谁温柔安抚
请放心 我很快能恢复
找到一个人陪我漫步
不准哭
我不要装可怜无辜
挡住你的路 挡不住你追逐
不准哭
我更应该微笑祝福
祝你找到对的幸福
如果我消失不见
你在乎不在乎
别含含糊糊 我很在乎
因为爱你所以我选另外一条路
离开是我的最後让步
爱情就到这里结束
我们不得不 不得不屈服
只能笑
不准哭
我不要装可怜无辜
挡住你的路 挡不住你追逐
不准哭
我学不会微笑祝福
祝你找到
祝你找到对的幸福
imisshim;
9:48 PM
i miss mrFOREVER21. =)
no matter what,
resolution should be done everynight.
imisshim;
3:57 AM
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
i realised..
rach loves to remind me about my past...
i think its gonna be the last time im talking about him,
so let me rant all i want now,
once and for all. =)
a cold period between us,
u wanted me to choose whether to stay or to leave,
i used 2days to decided i should stay,
because i wanted to give u my utmost support.
but a week later u dump me.
i tried all ways and means to want us to get back,
but u're determined not to want me anymore.
all my friends were happy that we aint together anymore,
they wanted to date me out to celebrate,
but i refused.
i got so depressed that i did those silly things,
and my new classmates can actually see through my fake smiles.
u knew what got into me,
but u could just say those things to hurt me even more.
one week later, u deleted me off your mind..
and the worst is u're wooing another one now,
but oh so poor u, she refused to be with you despite ur one month's chasing.
another month later, u got urself another new target,
you stay by her every day and night just like u're so used to.
3weeks later, i receive news that she's together with my bro's fren.
oh so pathetic u again,
but it left me wonder why i got together with u years ago.
3months later, u called me and pretended to ask my well-being,
but actually u just called to say how much u love your new girl,
and u actually leak out ur motive for calling me is because she called her ex.
u wanted her to know ur ex would be there for u as well.
u called to exclaim how much ur love is to her,
how nice u treat her like u nvr did to others before,
and i wont ever forget u told me this,
"i really love her like no one else before".
at that second, i wanted to slap u real tight as my tears flowed,
and i very much wanted to hang the phone but i dint.
when i went to take my medicine,
u asked me did i took a dozen of pills and ask am i dying soon?
thanks for ur "wishing me to die asap" and ur promise to attend my funeral if i died now.
the next day u smsed me to inform me ur are okay now,
my heart broke for i duno why too,
no, im sad not because i still loved u.
months later, u smsed me again to let me know u broke up with her,
and one day u might just return to me.
i know u wont and i wont want.
another few months gone,
u msn me urself this time,
so i thought what happen again,
but oh, actually u just wanna ask me who's the guy with me in my display pic,
and u went to display out ur another new gf pic too,
follow by a discussion on how loving u 2 are.
u keep probe me on whether had i went into a new relationship,
and whether am i still missing and thinking about u.
i ponder what's ur motive for all these,
that's e day i labelled u as a jerk.
2weeks ago before today,
u went to view my profile upon seeing my new pictures with guys,
it wasnt a big deal but i see the change of ur msn nick.
hahas! 3yrs of being together,
we gone through alot and we pulled through that many times,
nvr did i thought i'm deserved to get such treatments from u.
im not sure whether u did everything in purpose,
but i doubt u knew im hurt that deeply by you.
but ah well, thanks lots for giving me a chance to grow!
everything is ok now,
because 2yrs had passed,
and i grow to be a different sin.ee now,
treasuring every bits of everything!
2 yrs of single-hood, and i enjoyed my life as much as my frens do.
and nah.. the "xl asked: are you girls in relationship and i replied, its complicated."
isnt referring to this case. =P
曖昧讓人受盡委屈....
imisshim;
12:45 PM
yesterday, thursday 13july2006
a 45mins wisp presentation, lolx.
initially i still told qiu that im afraid our group wont even take up the minimum 10mins,
who knows it would take up to 45mins manx!
much thanks to the 2 girls ay,
from a world issue - cyber terrorism,
they made it to like as if a debate for spore's racism!!
that girl kept asking our group how to bond the causasians with sporeans if US attacked spore,
i feel very much to shoot this out to her:
"hello, if we're to know how to, i dun tink we'll be sitting here as pathetic students".
me and rebecca were thinking, how come she always got to talk with hateful eyes?
she looked at everyone like everyone mistreat her,
and i think she's very erm, duno-how-should-i-label.
like that time when the class did presentation on racism,
she debated for bangla(s)' to molest girls at countdown party like nobody's business.
according to qiu, she's asking alot of questions on china to the invited speaker from china,
and now! keep asking our group questions when we merely stated US as one of the possibilities.
she very political lehx. = ="
den went to meet sirong,
waited and we 2 actually crapped for 4hrs ourselves. =P
not to forget, a callout and some entertaining scenes,
and wanling, see.. i knew u'll overslept!
move off at 4pm and we went to NP for lunch/dinner,
wanling commented that she seems to be watching some fashion show,
and she's amazed by their heels. haha.
walk over to our fave outing place,
saw the 1st one soon after,
and he's so cute to "act cute" not to come out.
went over to sit at the tables there,
den one uncle thought we wanted to eat.
ay, and den one weird uncle keep staring at our direction,
decided to move out of there as i thot he felt we're hindering his stall.
just nice he came out so yea,
we walked forward lor.
chatted abit and run off to meet qiu for concert,
saw a shocking someone but decided to heck it for now.
concert was good, her vocals quite nice la.
i really love "beautiful love", so nice! =)
the songs she sang ytd, all i quite like except yellow,
nearly fall asleep when she sang that. oops!
too bad tanya's sick ytd, if not i tink beautiful love will sound even nicer.
walked back there to meet them again,
when on the way back from toilet,
uh, that weird uncle walk out and kept looking at me,
den he still went over to the side to say "hi!" to me.
sat awhile at level1 and were informed he's out,
went up again and he wasnt really out yet,
so wl says she wanna go toilet.
tt weird uncle walk out to stare us again.
while we stood at one side to wait,
he kept mumbling to himself,
so we decided to get reinforcements. hahaha!
then when walking towards there,
he said, floor no money no nid keep stare at the floor when walking. = ="
follow by some stares, some weird smiles and some grumblings.
when we wanted to go off le,
he kept smiling to me larhs,
den still say wad no ill intentions, want make friends and etc,
he even talk to *him somemore manx.
grrr, everytime kena such things.
another nice chatting session again,
his life really so exciting and happening manx! =P
but, im reminded of my ugly childhood again. =x
yea yea, im still trying to adapt the current lifestyle.
friday 14july2006
emkting presentation,
others had 20 over slides while we only got 10,
but i think we won in quality instead of quantity. =)
first time interact with the tutor so much,
he can talk alot on photography! lolx.
wanted to head home after tutorial one,
fiona said mrsh lec is impt so i went.
but wa laos, lec is crap can!
and thanks to ben for attracting attention for me.
what does s.e stands for?!
he said so loud : sin ee!
jonas lee asked him repeat and i asked him to shut!
after which, mr yik announced something and called a few out,
when its my name he said, sin ee, oh! standard error = ="
everyone looked at me larhs!
damn paiseh can.. =/
and the main for today is,
he made my day and.....
i broke my mp4's screen!
wth! sobs.
replies to tagboard:
wanling: can see u now craze long larhs. lols! the last part, wa laos, really lor... had enough!
rach: still can welcome, u always freaked me out one lehx!!
qi: lols! no choice, we got that look perhaps! =x
imisshim;
12:16 AM
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
im very tired now,
but im a happy girl tonight. =)
oh! minus away some stupid things that is. lolx.
slept at 3am ytd and woke at 6am,
and my day starts den.
wisp presentation, wa laos..
damn funny i felt and its the longest presentation i ever had.
shall elaborate that tomorrow.
den yea, went to the "lao di fang" and rot.
HAHAHs, but i think it wasnt that bad for today,
just we were super hungry. LOLs.
went back ngeeann for lunch/dinner,
and we were super full after that.
climb up and down to pack takeaways,
and we went to our fave place.
touched someone with a phone call,
and i felt so happy too. lols!
talk awhile and i ran back school for tanya's concert.
shall elaborate that tml too.
i think its a fruitday day for me,
but ay, minus away some parts. hahaha.
yea, im real tired so tonight is short.
shall elaborate everything more tml!
uncles and lesbians, please leave me alone.
hahas, i dun care whether do you meant good or whatever,
and erm, im 100% straight..
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!
thanks much. =)
imisshim;
11:30 PM
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
today - 12.07.2006.
4 years back, a special day to alot of people,
a day with new dream born.
alot had changes,
to its good and its bad.
for now, not in any stand to comment much.
dun wish to elaborate further,
for those who knew why would already had known.
really hope they could do well for their coming production,
because alot have high hopes on it.
still, i wanna thanks them for giving me alot of fond memories,
thanks them for giving me a chance to know all those real nice friends,
and of course, thanks them for giving me a chance to see the other types of people around.
back to yesterday's one.
i was there in the lecture, talking and discussing things with fiona,
and i finally see through alot of things with her enlightening me along.
not to forget, i actually admitted something to her which she had long guessed,
and so, she knew my greatest secret now. hahahs.
eh ya, in the end, it left us wondering about alot of things too,
apparently because we had alot of unknowns.
why do people go clubbing? what's so fun about clubbing?
if u're going with friends, oh well, understandable, to gather and have fun! but it actually defeat the purpose if u go every night. u mean u need to gather and have fun everyday in the same type of environment? then again, its different case again if u go with different people every time. different kind of fun mahs! ah, im contradicting. =P
guys go there to find new targets. hahas! eh, for most case, we felt. hahahaha. some just wanna showcase their drinking abilities, dancing abilities, and level of charm? lolx. girls, hmmm, to gather and bitch around with each other, to hit on others, to showcase their so called "talents". dun ask me what type. =/
fiona told me, her sister who is now 23-25, (i forget her exact age),
told her: "clubbing is not for me anymore."
so it left us pondering,
at what age would people wanna stop clubbing anymore?
to each his own, i felt.
because i think there's a wide range of people clubbing.
she told me another thing and it made me recalled what jing told me that day.
if there's really no bad things happening around in this world,
no one would actually grow and learnt new things.
its only when u made mistakes and u learn out of it,
so i reckon it applies for friendships, relationships and etc?
going through the hurt and another lesson is learnt!
how worth is that? =x
oh! we concluded another thing.
sometimes even if that thing occur,
we wont know too,
because there's a boundary in between,
and some special labels on it.
that made us not knowing the truth,
unless miracles happen? lolx.
low possibility. hahahs!
so we would just be guessing around,
and not getting the answer we want, FOREVER.
nvm, treasuring whatever it is now is the most important,
and i do. hees.
and yep, yesterday is still a fantastic day!
handing in of the sm assignment,
mugging and understanding of the 2 sm chapters,
and not to forget whatever happens next.
some heart2heart talk is so nice,
at least it assure me something,
make me wont go think too much in that area.
also, it gives me a chance to know them/him more!
although i dun understand why should i do that together,
but nevertheless, i still think its fun and i do treasure it! teehee. =P
first time feeling so fun to be teased on! LOLs.
rachel, thanks for that picture ah. lolx!
i think let's just forget everything manx. hahahs.
thanks for reminding me i should have been awake weeks ago,
and thanks for reminding me they're better than some.
long entry tonight,
i used an hour or so to type out everything,
thanks for reading till here if u really did so,
and feel free to comment on the topic of yesterday.
got to reach NP at 7.30am tomorrow,
so.. nights!
imisshim;
11:47 PM
i wanted to blog about a few things tonight,
but im really tired,
especially after mugging for tml's quiz.
sheesh, i really duno how much had i remember.
so, i decided to blog them tml,
just wondering would i remember what i wanted to blog about then.
for now, i just wanted to shout:
FINALLY my sm assignment had been handed in!!
much thanks to fiona, my best buddy in class. =)
felt so relieved and happy.. lolx!
imisshim;
1:50 AM
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
quote Qi: 這世界是怎樣 快樂是罪名喔 一定要不開心才是peace嗎
hmmm, i find it so true..
especially after what had happen recently.
why must people made things turn ugly before they're satisfied?
quote Qiu to me: but if you can survive at marketing, tourism shouldn't be a problem de.
hahas, it seems that marketing is the most horrendous specialisation in BS.
eeks, im getting tire out of this game.
all my tutors thought i chose marketing myself,
did they wonder i dint like marketing in the first place?
hohoho, they ought to understand their students abit larhs,
and not to pressurise them so so so much. = ="
just alil comment on tonight's SF1.
- from what wanling said, i thot b1 did a great job, but i think its their normal.
- why did b3 ended their song with my fave line? hurhur.
- b4's starting was really alil wrecking.
- b5's jian chi dao di wasnt that fantastic i thought, and eh, their clothings look like final fantasy's gaiban xuan chuan clothings. haha.
- b6's di yi tian dint turn up to be what i've thought, and zhiwei's clothings very funny.
sidetrack alil:
when im chatting with Qi,
somehow i made a conclusion like this,
" if my idol treat me like thatt, 那他就太惡霸了吧.. 這樣欺負我這小妹妹. "
HOHOHO. =PpP
imisshim;
1:02 AM
Monday, July 10, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
oh duh, worldcup had ended,
with ITALY's victory.
yeah! and i think we were very happy,
not because for italy,
but were happy for mrLONG.
teeheeeheee. =PpP
with a winner, there must be losers.
actually im sad for france too, and yea some other teams larhs.
its tough playing such matches,
the stress from different channels is unbearable.
they certainly had put in alot of effort too,
their nations shouldnt had mock at them,
in this case its for brazil larhs. haha.
oh well, how come everything is ending so fast!?
lolx, time FLIES you see. hoho.
my sm individual assignment dateline is today 6pm,
and im here at home with nothing done yet.
how marvellous can i get?! lols.
not that i chose not to get anything done,
is just that, i get no replies from anyone!
i really had been bothering about this since friday morning.
im so miserable....
but did anyone actually knew? lolx.
i went to use the one-day straightener yesterday,
ah! because i wanna reach some effects,
but sad to say, i couldnt make it till the same manx.
i realised i wont get the effect no matter how i tried,
because the thickness and length of hair is different.
HAHAHs, nvm. its fun!
and i felt glad not to be *his fan,
because whatever i see i thought of him,
and i know what will i do if im his fan. heh.
wanling: the black blingbling shirt really very nice right!!
the world kindest soul,
i cant believe he's the topic of the few of us this few days!
LOLs, erm ok,
i had been bombard of jon's info recently too.
sinee: seriously i think he look good with his new hairstyle, he looked like he's only 21!
sinee: erm i like this shop name pretty much, those who know why will know why lor. =P
oh! did i mention..
i saw so many nice-looking guys this few days,
all with different style one! weeets.
thurs - one real good looking jap+taiwan cutie wearing a navy blue HRC shirt
(haha, if u koe who im referring to)
fri - a kaka-lookalike angmoh, his eyes looks damn good from my sitting view.
sun - a jap/korean style guy with a super mature feel, shuai.
and ahhh!! italy no5 is such an eyecandy!!
look real cute. haha!!
but eh, *he's always cuter. =P
back to self-deceive to not bother about that thing.
argh, its so xxx to know some truth.
well, truth hurts, aint it always the case? lols.
PS: this layout refuse to let me post pics-entry.
wth, lolx.
imisshim;
2:45 PM
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Sunday, July 09, 2006
真的沒有什麼東西是不會變值的....
sobx.... 為什麼?!?!
當初的承諾是現在的傷痛.
and and and.
im so not going to be affected by that thing.
no no no.
no way im gona think much about that,
i wish i wouldnt THAT much.
*self-deceiving myself.*
imisshim;
1:15 PM
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
如果說...
女人是善變的動物,
那男人呢?
欣儀覺得...
男人是難懂的動物.
woolala, 這是以女性的立場說的啦.
看著你,
笑容遮蓋滿天.
你快樂所以我快樂,
真所謂如此嗎.
矛盾是我也.
不輕言放棄,
這應是大家的宗旨.
曾想選擇放棄,
但卻遲遲放不下.
矛盾又是我.
回憶本是美,
但若回憶代表一切結束,
我願時間能暫停,
那又有什麼能回味呢?
矛盾仍是我.
這世界那麼的美麗,
惡習卻抹殺那份平靜.
這美好的世界,
我卻覺得好黑暗.
叫我弱者也.
imisshim;
8:20 PM
firstly i wanna say a sorry,
sorry to those whom i replied very stupidly in msn yesterday night.
wasnt feeling good yesterday with all those project editing,
and the feeling of waiting for their new email replies werent fantastic.
like i told someone before,
that's what u'll get when u'd busy groupmates and all.
haha. one month more and i'll be free.
but within this one month,
i duno how am i to survive.
someone, save me please.
somehow decided to go for the iap after seeing what modules would i be taking if i go tourism next sem.
after seeing how qiu is struggling with now,
i cant imagine how would i be if i were to take those modules next sem.
so now, i need to go and learn how to love marketing ay? =x
seriously, i hate doing school projects,
especially if u get nasty tutors.
i know, people would say next time your boss might be as nasty too,
and the working world isnt nice too.
but lets see, if u get a nasty tutor whom keep threaten to fail you,
how willing were u get to do projects nicely for her?
at least from what i know, everyone under her class is tramautised with sm now.
i wonder if its the "fei chang shi qi" for everyone.
everyone seems to be tied up by some bothering problems,
all feeling just not right.
we few just wanna stop doing anything,
wanting to throw all schoolwork aside,
just wanna be alone at times.
im really unhappy with myself yesterday night,
and so i am there angrying and throwing temper at myself.
i just feel like disappearing from this world at that instance and i nearly did that.
jing and qi were there asking me to think of the good and forget about the bad,
but.. i just couldnt. =x
i know jing is being good to correct me whenever i said things that sounded wrongly,
and explaining things to me. thanks! =)
這世上還有美麗的事嗎?
我.. 又到底為什麼還要活在痛苦的世界裡?
好厭倦這充滿了鬥爭的社會,
我不想也被捲入之中,
那樣, 我會更討厭自己...
真的好想就這樣鬆開爽手,
昂然地走進我憧憬的天堂..
我-能-嗎-?
imisshim;
1:29 PM
Friday, July 07, 2006
Friday, July 07, 2006
first time waking up due to the thoughts of undone work.
woke up and immediately start on searching for sales manager(s).
sad to say, still to no avail yet.
im preparing to forsake the 15% on monday,
and being chided by her on wednesday.
really, SM su*ks big time larhs!
vic: how can like this
ur tdaddy so gd to u
uncle long so good to u
then u noe ur t daddy is the best
then y like this..
to vic:
now you should know why was it happening the way it is on sunday night.
yea, partially is because of the entry u asked me yesterday night,
and partially because of what i'd thought of previously.
and haha, the strawberries thing,
so coincidence ay.
but erm, i think the reason of us buying that is different. =)
BTW, how u know i bought it too?!
who tell you de?
to rach:
sometimes we just need to think something positivly,
but haha! in wad stand i've to tell you this when im a pessimistic? lols.
ah well! dun expect much on wild people, isnt it? =P
i believe jon is good. =)
"we shouldnt let those things intrude our life"
i cant believe it came out from u. haha.
imisshim;
3:50 PM
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Thursday, July 06, 2006
was on the phone with her and yep,
that topic is brought up again.
distance can really drift people apart eh,
no one should deny that!
everyone is changing everyday,
and we dono which are the areas we're changing.
till one day when a group of people met up and recall back the olden days,
only then u will realise where you'd changed,
and the changes are surely not to someone's agreement.
now tell me, how to maintain a good relationship?!?!
out of the 6yrs, first time z sees me cry,
11th june 2006, that sunday night.
the day we were on a bus together sitting side-by-side,
yet we dint talk at all,
and she cant believe it just happen liydat. =x
out of the 6yrs, 2006 marks the first time me and y had a great dispute,
we avoid each other like mad and the reason is because of SB.
its like, wow! can u believe it!!
not like i ignore and dun care about her after i got into SB wad = =''
*this explains the pm of mine that day: dun pull "t" into the quarrels*
was on the topic of SB with rach and wanling,
its gona end very soon,
so would everything comes to an end when mid-aug arrives?
will they just mia out of everything? lolx.
will we still get to see them? lolx.
wanling asked me this: our support towards them must end when SB ends meh?
hahaha, we shall give it a serious thought. =)
sidetrack abit: my mum thought my fave is xiaolong! =P
imisshim;
2:40 PM
the roadshow officially ended today, haha.
i think it quite bonded our class in a sense,
and yea, should i be happy with that? lolx.
was basically slacking through the morning,
just chat and walk about at the "np orchard road".
did 2 of my elearnings before i KO to bed in the noon,
though today roadshow wasnt as tough as yesterday one,
i still feel very wornout. lols.
no choice la, old le den my brain starts to rust as well!!
this week is the elearning week for mkting students mahs,
den ya, i always thought this week only need to go back for IS and roadshow,
so i happily forgotten that i got OM lessons. =/
my stress starts to conquer me again.
i just felt myself wrong in any sense,
hence, not able to do anything right now.
and right now im thinking of how to continue my path.
mr yik phoned me to let me know the IAP thing,
so yea, its a new company related to the IR,
u koe IR, the dream workplace for us.
if i decided to go for that, it would means i wont get to study tourism at all?!
which in turn decides that i shall be a marketor in the future.
for now, im still unsure whether do i love marketing enough to pursue that.
haha, to go or not to go?!?!
and i know if i decided to go for IAP,
i have got to give up alot of things,
because i would need to prioritise things,
and then im afraid what i fear most would come true.
well, shall see how things would go on.
haha, suddenly i thought of how i broke up with him. =x
he's my nightmares.
back to the marketing things.
in this business world,
its really like as if u're in a war,
i only thought its only when u're working then u would start snatching for business.
but NO! i actually seen that happening in our roadshow,
i dont mean my class larhs.
sales management, they would surely scored As for that.
for sales, friend can be nasty with own friend,
for commission, everything else is nothing else.
開始後悔那幾天了,
哈哈哈...
怨不得任何人,
因為是自己的錯,
嗯錯, 我也不懂為什麼要那麼做.
真的覺得自己很愚蠢太傻想太多 = =''
後果自負, 好真實喔!
老實說, 我本來想在明天後,
很任性的要逃離這個我認為很醜陋的世界,
把我媽我妹我朋友全都扔下.
我之所以那天會要她們出來聚是因為我怕我沒時間等下去,
我那兩天會為什麼不去正眼看他不跟他說太多話是因為...
因為我怕我會在他面前掉淚.
哈! 還記得那晚我跟宛玲說我看到他我突然不會拍照且想走人了.
放心, 我會寫出來就代表我明晚還會在.
我媽發生了點問題,
我真的不忍心現在離開她不顧..
有很乖的吃藥, 至少現在不會那麼憂鬱了,
腦裡不會那麼時常地出現幻覺也不會一直聽到莫名的喊叫聲,
心裡也不會覺得全世界都鄙視自己..
你們不會了解活在幻覺世界的感受,
很難受很痛哭, 所以我每晚都哭著睡著,
所以我開始自虐...
現在你們知道發生什麼事了吧?
不要把我當病人看待,
我現在很ok.. =)
我會寫出來,
當然也是發生了點事,
嗯, 先不說...
imisshim;
1:56 AM
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
haha, thanks for all the jiayou(s).
its only untill yesterday night then i realised..
realised i got so many undone work.
its amazing how much work were piled up for us.
see how torturous our tutors/lecturers are?! lolx.
oh well, that's ngeeann business course for u. =)
i shall just rush everything tomorrow,
because im really tired beat tonight.
one day's roadshow is enough to kill me,
not to say there's another day left! = =''
oh man, walking around the whole school compound can kill!
somemore i walk a few rounds!!
had been thinking lots these 2 nights,
had been saying out to others today,
all said im very mean!! =x
i dint realised im that obvious till i said it out.
oops, sometimes im really unintentionally okays,
i really dint meant it sometimes.
想念你的心依然存在，
擔心你的思緒從沒停止，
你始終還在我腦海裡．
說過想不繼續下去，
談何容易?
說過要不去想你,
那豈是三兩天能做到的?
一直說不想看到你,
其實我真的很想看到你...
一直說不懂該跟你說什麼,
其實我真的有很多話想問你...
我越是說不要去看你,
我就越想著要去看你...
可是..
看到你那天那個樣子,
我沒勇氣上前打擾你,
我不想走上前煩你,
我不想給你增添煩惱..
你要我跟你說的事,
我不是不再想跟你說了,
是看你不怎麼舒服而且你也有你該忙的事,
加上那不是三言兩語的事,
所以也沒跟你說,
說穿了也是想要你上線我再說... 哈.
其實, 我真的很開心你來問我,
因為我真的很喜歡跟你傾訴談話,
你總給得了我一種.....
莫名的安全感... =)
as he's mine t*****.. haha!
imisshim;
11:30 PM
roadshows on 4 and 5jul,
wisp and mqe presentations on 6jul,
emkting, mcomm, sm, mrsh elearning assisgments due 7jul,
sm sales manager interview due 10jul,
om hardrockcafe case study report due 10jul,
emkting group assignment due 10jul,
mcomm group assignment due 10jul,
readings on 2chaps of sm before 12jul
this is what i need to complete for the week.
yes, for this week alone, i got all these..
really, dun push me any further,
for i'd reached my peak.
i cant extend myself any further,
i cant take it anymore,
i cant handle anymore tasks.
to think i still gave myself a break this afternoon.. =/
i know time's running out for everything,
but hey, can someone just spare a thought for me?
i know everyone is pissed with alot of things around,
but really, im not one for u guys to vent your frustration at.
stop barking at me when u're unhappy!
i need a break,
not physically but mentally.
i dun seek any extras from anyone,
just dun create anymore happenings for me.
brokedown once last week,
but i cant afford to this week,
because i knew clearly, no time.
so, please 放過我,
just dont want to be affected by anything else.
if u know it would hurt me, dont come near me,
i dont mind u sharing problems and happy things with me tho.
imisshim;
1:30 AM
Monday, July 03, 2006
Monday, July 03, 2006
剛在回家的途中,
看到家樓下的停車場有4輛警察車,
好多輛哦 = =
走著走著就看到2個男警察在給2個華籍女生問話,
1個女警察給1個印度男生問話..
那男生給口供時有點激動,
我就在想, 為什麼在那其餘的5-6名警察沒一起去問啊? = ='
我就一直在想,
到底發生了什麼事,
需要動用4輛警車, 10幾個警察,
而且那2個女生看起來沒殺傷力,
不是那種連花一族,
我真看不出到底那印度男生會跟她們有什麼關係呢?
就, 看那男生比的動作等,
打戒已被我排除了, 也不可能是非禮等等之類的...
我在猜, 或許是互瞪引起糾紛. 哈.
繼續邊走邊想,
我就在想,
往往看似越沒殺傷力的其實最不簡單.
我自己就體驗了好多次類似的事情,
把我傷得最深的,
都是那些看似好單純好簡單好沒心機的人.
是我帶眼不識人嗎,
還是我就是有一副應該被傷害的臉? 哈，奇怪了 = ="
打個比方, 某人看起來真的很不起眼,
如果不認識她就覺得她應該沒什麼殺傷力..
可是我沒想到她心機那麼重,
而且一直再而三的要打擊我們幾個.
那是不是說, 看似越沒殺傷力的其實最有殺傷力..
大家都叫我該快樂些,
不是我不想但為什麼總是會有人出現博奪我的快樂呢?
要不就是當我很快樂時,
一定會又有不好的事發生...
今天我就在那問琪,
" 我們是做了什麼嗎? 為什麼我們就應該得到這些壞事?"
喔, 想一想, 應該就只有我中最多啦. 哈!
為什麼呀! 我就只要屬於我那份很簡單的快樂.....
難道這很困難嗎?
今天一起身, 就渾身不自在,
出門時看到那則SMS就覺得我們犯小人了,
快到MDC時我就知道今天是unlucky天.
我們昨晚不應該去minds cafe,
應該去拜一下趕走身邊的小人.
哈! 真的, 她們能放過我嗎?
我已經沒有多餘的力氣拼啦~
今晚在mdc兜來兜去,
終於相信醫生的一句話,
我的觀察力和集中力在退緩中.
我真的不希望自己證明他說的下半句也是真的.
嗯, 不會的, 我能克服的..
插一句話, 我覺得我可以再白痴一點!!
明明我要說的是,
"思念如果承以時間, 我覺得答案是永遠"..
我最終卻寫出,
"或許是時候選擇放棄, 但你會永遠在我心裡"
我騙得了大家, 卻騙不了自己. (瞎)
sinee: got similarities mah? hee, yea, the significance out of it. =)
sinee: the wonder shop. =PpP
sinee: jing and qi were amazed by me drinking some strawberry/raspberry drink.
oh well, they think its not my style. haha! = ="
sinee: this game got alot of 無奈, but its fun! =P
sinee: woots, this game will let us go into deep thoughts! fun~
sinee: haha! i really dint take it randomly okays!
sinee: finally we 4 larhs! its difficult to come out as 4 to met up for meals. hahaha.
anyway, minds cafe is fun.
the board games are really fun to play with,
worth it a try! =)
imisshim;
2:09 AM
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
有些事情如果真的要攤開來講得明白點,
很多人事物就都會被牽連進去,
到時, 大家只會覺得難過傷心失望感慨,
那有何必呢?
讓我獨自承受吧.
或許當初我們就很沒有了解彼此,
所以今天我才會對你那麼的失望?
比我更早認識你的她當時跟我聊了一點點的你,
如果當時我已帶點提防,
或許今天我也不會那麼傷心,
但! 如果朋友做成那麼樣也為免太悲哀了吧?
現在的我們, 聊天時都有點尷尬了吧?
我不敢去想如果事情若講白了會是怎樣,
我也不願去想.
希望我們就能順其自然地面對彼此吧.
哈, 有可能嗎?
嗯.. 但有些事還是值得一提,
你沒有讓我絕望, 還好還好..
現在的我只是個想在離開前保護自己的刺蝟,
如果在這裡傷了任何人,
我感到十分的抱歉.
這裡, 也只是我抒發情緒的小角落,
容忍我是個只能用文字而不是言語來表達自己的人..
最近夜深人靜時,
好愛自己去想太多,
搞到自己前天完全崩潰.
最近那些不快樂的事,
我並沒有怪你們兩個, 真的.
知道你們2個都覺得好抱歉,
但對我來說其實很ok的,
畢竟該來的總會來,
而且, 這讓我有了些覺悟.
沒有什麼事情是永遠存在的,
它們都有起起落落的時候,
這點, 開始看得很清楚了.
有些事我選擇了刻意退出,
有些事卻是別無選擇.
之前因為人性的醜陋,
我自己選擇了停止注意他,
也可以說已畫上了句號.
但現在呢....
我並不想放棄支持/喜歡他,
但是我僅存的力量能讓我繼續嗎?
開始有點搞不清楚狀況了.
嗯, 但如我所說,
我知道即使我不能繼續支持/喜歡他,
在我心裡他會是那最特別的一個.
嗯, 2.11am了,
我也用了大約一小時打出這麼長一篇..
晚安.
倒數6天: 我解脫一切的那一天. =)
imisshim;
2:11 AM
